Monday, December 30, 2013

List 'Em Irresponsibly: It's The End Of The Year As We Know It

I'm aware that the year end wrap up podcast has already concluded, but that doesn't mean that I'm done with my views and opinions. Truthfully, we'll never be done hearing my thoughts, opinions and overall complaints about things. It's the reason I host a weekly podcast.

Anyway, all I've done is complain about year end lists. With every website taking a list of 103 records that came out this year and making their own top 100 lists, differing with maybe one or two albums slotting in different spots on each of their pretentious employers list. We get it. You all dig the same music. I've got two lists of my own to get into, because I'm a way better follower than I am a leader. A lot of the second list will most likely be touched on in the first podcast of 2014, which you'll be able to find at TheAndyDererShow.Com , The Andy Derer YouTube Channel, and available to listen FREE on iTunes using the Podcasts App. It's odd, it's off, it's different.. It's The Jay Porks Experience.

Top Five Albums of 2013 I'd Like to Never Hear Sounds From Ever Again:

1. Kanye West - Yeezus
How long is this dude going to keep making a fool out of himself before we stop enabling him to. When I was a kid and I did something bad I didn't get attention for it because then I'd continue to do it because I was an attention seeking asshole. I was also 4 years old. Dude had one decent record in 2004. I'm not beat maker, so whatever records he's produced that I'm unaware of, don't waste your time. This isn't a list of producers. This type of stuff mattering is everything wrong with Hip Hop. Too many preppy suburban white kids are in on the discussions these days to make it valid.

2. Pearl Jam - Lightning Bolt
Nothing I say in this little blurb will make you change your mind, but I'd be a hypocrite not to put it on my worst list after hating it so much publicly.

3. Haim - Days Are Gone
Look at me. I got all adventurous and tried to listen to some music by a fairly new artist who was the buzz of the interwebs for a few weeks. Boy am I sorry I checked these chicks out. And here I was hoping for some sort of Babes in Toyland sounding stuff. And it never helps to pronounce your name in a ridiculous way, opting to pronounce it Haim like rhymes with Time instead of how everyone reads and hears it, and that's Haim in which sounds like Lame.

4. Daft Punk - Random Access Memories 
Just because you've created a record that has one catchy song that everyone seems to hum after they hear it drunk at a party does not mean you and your stupid wanna be Tron helmets have any right to be THIS successful. That electro-crap has no place in life outside 20 feet away from someone doing designer rave drugs in a dark basement.

5. Atoms For Peace - Amok
I don't even know what these sounds are trying to be. In all seriousness, there's no breakdown. I got nothing since there is nothing this music gives me.

 Top Five Things Bands Shouldn't Do in 2014:

1. Stop telling fans to not take your picture. Stop trying to make the future not happen. You really feel that bad that someone is taking your picture instead of FULLY ENGULFING themselves in the songs that you slaved for years writing? You're a fucking musician, you signed up to be famous. You also charged me more than zero for this ticket to see you. Would you rather people follow you home? If a person choosing to try and capture a moment from a concert and relive that moment forever, wouldn't you consider them full engulfed in these proceedings? People are allowed to keep memories forever now. People also pay $60+ for tickets to concerts to see their favorite bands and then their favorite bands turn out to be complete pieces of shit. It's a Rock & Roll concert, if you're camera is really in the way of someone to the point where their show experience is being disrupted-they're going to punch you. People like me work hard to find ways to not annoy people, now I wish my favorite bands would stop annoying me.

2. Stop releasing box sets when you are still alive. Box sets and deluxe editions are for bands of past not bands of present. They could only be bands of present if they've been around a while. As it pains this guy to say, a band like Pearl Jam is allowed a box set if they want to while a band like Daft Punk can't release a deluxe edition of their record a month after it comes out. I don't think enough people care about the original to care about the remaster besides a handful of snobby writers with jobs at high trafficking music websites that seem to control the universe.

3. We don't need 17 "90s" themed concert tours. We really don't. If a band like Everclear wanted to tour I'd go see them in a club in the city. I don't need them on a bill with Fastball and Vertical Horizon to make me see them. I'm sure Sugar Ray fans feel the same way, they'd go see McGrath and Co. if they toured. And the guy typing this LOVES everything about the 90s. Summerland is 2012 was cool.  The world doesn't need all those bands starting their own 90s revival tours. You're never going to have a bill where every fan is happy anyway, just do the tour alone. Small places that sell out. Seems like a more financially feasible plan than underselling a bunch of larger venues.

4. Stop Touring playing albums. I think we've all had enough of the predicable set lists already. Shows are about spontaneity and fun, not rules and regulations. Even if you wanna play an entire album that badly, you don't have to tell us about it. Keep a secret  til showtime if you want. Play it out of order or something and throw us off. Don't tell us what to expect at the show when we buy our tickets 4 months in advance, that ruins the excitement for people like me.

5. Stop Crying about Spotify and Pandora. Hire some lawyers, tell them to stop playing your music. Don't cry to me about it, it's not going to keep me from adding your songs to my Spotify playlist. I don't feel bad for millionaires, but that's just how a dude with no money feels. If you want to make some extra cash, grab a guitar and go play some live shows. Then stand at the merch table after the show and have fans buy stuff because they don't want to look like dicks when they ask to take a selfie with you. Make your website easier to access or something. If websites are going to let people listen to music for free, why would they not do that? That's like if the needle truck in the Bronx was handing out free Heroin to junkies, would you expect the junkies to say "Nah that's alright, I'm gonna support my local dealer directly. Thanks though". Doubtful.

Every Monday, TheAndyDererShow.Com for The Jay Porks Experience.

Happy New Year. Don't make resolutions.. make Revolutions.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Show Notes: The Jay Porks Experience Podcast Year End Wrap Up


Well folks, the world has successfully spun around on its axis for another year. I myself spent the last three months of 2013 host this podcast: The Jay Porks Experience, featured on the Derer Network of Podcasts. To say it's been awesome to vent to all of you would be an understatement, and I can't til the two week holiday break ends to bring you more awesome rants, raves and terrible jokes. In the meantime, above is a link to this weeks podcast. In which we break down all the concerts attended by this guy in 2013. It's a short list, a list that needs to get longer in the next twelve months. Below, you can find links to all the Jay Porks Concert Experiences mentioned in this weeks 'cast. Happy New Year. 

But first, as we do every week. Let's go over the list of websites you need to visit, to help keep me in business. 

ConcertConfessions.Com : Your Source For Live Music News And Reviews, For Fans By Fans

Antiquiet.Com : That's Your Source For QUALITY. Where the bullshit is always cut. Check out the staff picks for the Albums Of The Year by clicking here

CristinaRocks.Com ...hang the dj. Cristina hosts the Time Warp on 89X, playing throwback alternative hits every Sunday morning. Head to her site for daily music news, and links to the playlists and where you can stream her show live every Sunday on the interwebs.

TheAndyDererShow.Com For the aforementioned awesome podcast world takeover. Check out Andy Derer, Tyler Kahl and yours truly over there going strong in 2014.

Listen to me FREE on iTunes by simply using the Podcasts App. It's so easy even I can do it!

(dean ween sitting in the doorway to the left)

Hit me up on Twitter @JayPorks and be my friend! Let's go to shows and do some podcast stuff!

Check ya'll in two weeks! Late.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Show Notes: The Jay Porks Experience Episode #11: Festivals For The Rest Of Us!

And we've got another episode of the Jay Porks Experience on tap for you here this week. Posted a day later due to technical issues, episode eleven is action pack with complaints about festivals. Head over to TheAndyDererShow.Com to check out all podcasts archived, or you can listen FREE on iTunes using the Podcasts app and searching Andy Derer Show, The Derer Network of Podcasts, taking over the world one podcast at time.. sort of.

You guys know where to get your live music news and reviews for fans by fans right? That's ConcertConfessions! Come join our family, share your concert experiences with the world.

Antiquiet.Com : Your Source For Quality

TheAndyDererShow.Com for Smooth Operators with Tyler Kahl and Andy Derer, The Andy Derer Show and of course the Jay Porks Experience.

2:40 starts the Festivals rant. Why are we speculating 10 months ahead of time?

7:10 I mention there are 100's of festivals. I'm reading from the list I got at

8:00 I start talking about bands having cruises, here's a link to the details to the Weezer Cruise I mention.

10:35 Here's where we dive into my trip to Orion Music + More Festival in 2012. Here's a link to the recap of Day one and two

Below is a picture of what some girl tweeted at Concert Confessions after I posted. Cool photos, awesome videos. Check it out.

21:30 For the full review of Childish Gambino at Central Park the night after the inaugural Orion Music and More Festival, click here and head over to Concert Confessions.

29:50  Click here for the Lily Allen article up on AQ  titled "LILY ALLEN EMBRACES FAUX-FEMINISM IN HOPES OF EXTENDING HER 15 MINUTES OF FAME ON ‘HARD OUT HERE’".. it's a highly recommended reading

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Show Notes: The Jay Porks Experience (Podcast Edition) Episode Nine - Stamp My Hand!

And we're back with another edition of The Jay Porks Experience. This week I ask for help picking out show to buy tickets to because for the first time in many months I am without concert tickets purchased. I also go over some music venues I hate (and love) here in the Tri-State area. Sit down, relax. Forget all the problems and listen to mine!

Of course all episodes of the Jay Porks Experience are made possible by The Andy Derer Show and the DererNetwork of podcasts (featuring myself, Andy and Tyler Kahl). Check them out, subscribe on iTunes and YouTube and follow us all on Twitter. Only cool things coming in the future!

1:40 – Phish debuted their brand new record Wingsuit on Halloween in Atlantic City. Internet rumors were that the band would cover an album by another band, but alas, the casual fan is let down.

2:15 – ConcertConfessions.Com ..::Live Music News And Reviews For Fans, By Fans::.. All Are Welcome To Join Our Family

3:10 - CristinaRocks.Com (...hang the dJ)::.. Click here for the Time Warp Playlist from this week

6:55 - I love the song Joey by Concrete Blonde. When Local H busts it out, it's always a good time. He's some footage shot by me back in 2011.

8:51 Antiquiet.Com YOUR SOURCE FOR QUALITY (I feel like they're write it in caps)

10:25 – Tweet from Johnny Firecloud co-founder Antiquiet during Voodoo Fest

11:30 Buying or NOT Buying: Arcade Fire – Reflektor .::BUYING IT::..

12:20 I really need a name for the segment where I trash venues I hate and praise venues I love. Tweet your suggestions at me @JayPorks !

13:30 Here's a link to my review of Soundgarden at Hammerstein Ballroom back in January of this year.
And why not click here to check out my write up on Slash and Foxy Shazam At Hammerstein in September 2012
Click here for my review of the  Pixies at Hammerstein in 2009! (This isn't even on Concert Confessions it's so old school!)
(Later that week...) Click here for my review of 311 at Hammerstein in 2009

17:20 ECW One Night Stand live at Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City

 21:15 Link to the article where Neon Trees cancelled their show due to high ticket prices, click here

Click here for my Social Distortion show review from May 14 2011
And click here for my write up of Offspring, Neon Trees and Dead Sara Sept 9th 2012

24:40 This little 2 minutes here is asking all folks who attend shows to join the Concert Confessions family! Hit me up on Twitter @jayporks or hit up Concert Confessions @concertconfess and we'll walk you through that. Always love new folks contributing. Why not have people read your stuff?

27:30 Adam's Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake I'm forced to eat because the Jets beat the Saints. My football team fucks me even when they win. Anyway, I refer to this as the Ryan Adams Cheesecake, and I encourage everyone to do the same.

29:10 Click here for the Bowery Presents Concert Calender. Suggest things to me! And as you know, the Jay Porks Experience is now hiring someone to drive me home from shows. Inquire within!

31:35 I'm not mad at Phish for not covering some awesome record but instead debuting their new record 'Wingsuit'. I don't feel like it was a big cock tease or anything. Not at all. #Sarcasm

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Jay Porks Experience (Podcast Edition) Episode Seven : "Pearl Slam"

We're back with another podcast this week here at the Jay Porks Experience. This week, my hatred for the band known as Pearl Jam is revealed. Before listening I want everyone to take into consideration that this was recorded BEFORE Pearl Jam week on Fallon was announced. Could only imagine my delight to find out that that was happening, not that I watch Jimmy Fallon anyway, but taking over my  life via social media and television is something the band has become good at.

Yes, this picture above is stupid. It's what comes from LA Weekly, complete and utter nonsense. But you'd be surprised how hard it is to find a suitable picture searching the terms "Pearl Jam Sucks". What can I say, you people have taken over the internet. But before you people run to the people I try and write for on the internet and try and have me fired, think about this for a second: I hate this band. I'm not telling you to hate this band. I have an opinion, I'm not telling you how to think or what your opinion should be. If you're so offended by my statements (which I see no reason for you to be), I invite you onto my podcast to talk about it. I'll google instructions on how to use this program to patch in people on Skype and we'll have a chat. I wanted to begin having guests anyway.

The second rant in this week's podcast comes thanks to the National Football League who are doing a wonderful job covering up a growing problem in their sport, that'd be CTE (or Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy). I am not claiming to be smart enough to explain all the nooks and crannies to the laymen, because that's exactly what I am. I'm just a guy who watched a documentary, and I think it'd be best if everyone who is a fan of having Sunday's be a day full of laziness and beer to take a look at it. You can head over to PBS Frontline to watch the documentary by clicking here

Back to the Meat Puppets, I'm still in awe of the Backwater > Sloop John B >Open Wide > Cathy's Clown > Lake Of Fire mind explosion the boys dumped on us back at the Brooklyn Bowl on October 12th. I've got a place you can go to get tons of video (TONS of video for the visual learner), awesome photos and if you like to read, words too. That place is only Concert Confessions: Live Music News And Reviews For The Fans, BY The Fans. Click Here to check that out

Follow me on Instagram @JayPorks!
(only if you want to)

Tap me on the shoulder and share bands with me, albums I should check out. I will. It doesn't have to be a new record, maybe an album that you think I'd enjoy that I may have missed along the way, or been ignorant towards. Whatever. Don't worry, I'll never go Pearl Jam on your band because the band you're going to show me hasn't annoyed the shit out of my life for the past 20 years. 

Here's the article Krist Novoselic tweeted in which Kurt Cobain is compared to painter Jean-Michel Basquiat. Interesting read, click here for it 

Tweet at me @JayPorks .. ask me random things, give me things to bitch about. Things to love. Let's be friends! 

Monday, October 14, 2013

The Jay Porks Experience (Podcast Edition): Episode Six - "Porks And Recreation"

And here we are back with another podcast, another few minutes of me sharing with you the pleasures and displeasure's of my concert experiences, both present and past. Today, we're sticking with the present,as I've just come down from the trip known as seeing the Meat Puppets live. It was my 13th time, great as usual. You need check out my words, photos and awesome videos from the gig by clicking here to get to Concert Confessions: The only place on the internet to find your Live Music News And Reviews For Fans, BY Fans.

Thanks to the Andy Derer Network of Podcasts, I've been given the opportunity to just click record and share my thoughts and complaints from the only person from the Forgotten Borough.. Staten Island, New York that you know.

Head over to Cris Kirkwood's Art Website, CrisKirkwoodArt.Com . Tons of cool stuff available there, and like I mention in this weeks episode, you'll want to grab some of this stuff as the holiday season is right around the corner. 

Here's the "Open Wide" shot on my IPhone 5 that I mentioned. The picture quality is some epic stuff, and we should be hitting more shows in the near future and getting some awesome picks. This guy does have a birthday coming up after all.

At 13:50, I'm not kidding about the driver.. If there's anybody who wants to hit shows in the New York City metro area, and can offer me a ride home from a show in exchange of a ticket that I will purchase for you. Or even if your somebody who doesn't like to go to concerts but enjoys driving and making money off folks, send me an email at JayPorks@GMail.Com, we can work out some sort of arrangement. I'm too awesome an individual to have the low amount of friends that I do. Tweet me @JayPorks , be my friend. My only friends can't live in different states, I can't get to them. 

If you're out west and plan of hitting one of the many Meat Puppets shows out in the Golden State, Washington, Idaho, Vegas, etc., hit up the article I have up at Antiquiet with all the Pups tour dates here. or you could even head to TheMeatPuppets.Com/Tour to get tickets and stuff.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The Jay Porks Experience (Podcast Edition): Episode Three

As you may have read right here last week, I now have my very own podcast thanks to my buddy Andy Derer of  the Andy Derer Show fame. And you know I couldn't be happier about that. I've got tons of complaints about everything from the land of topical music news to the shit that pisses me off at work-and everything Meat Puppets in between. On a weekly basis, I'll try to come here and post show notes as they're needed.

Episode Three contains an opening rant about the restaurant I work at, and the type of customer I deal with from day to day. Contrary to popular belief, I am not having a nervous breakdown in that first 8 minutes.

8:22- Obvious end of segment one, a much calmer Porks hits the microphone.
9:00 - Read all about the Violent Femmes rain out by clicking here.
10:30 - Head over to the official website of the Boomer and Carton Morning Show by clicking here.
17:15 - The Meat Puppets are most certainly coming to a town near you. Check out all their tour dates by heading to their official website here.
20:30 - Concert Confessions.. Live Music News And Reviews For Fans, By Fans
21:30 - Mexicali Live is a rock venue located in Teaneck, NJ.
22:10 - I actually used to call Pam's jeep the "Pam-Van", the "Pam Wagon" refers to the newer vehicle.
22:50 - Check out coverage of The Black Box Revelation over at Concert Confessions by clicking here
23:45 - You guys all remember the Adventures of Pete & Pete

The theme song is by a band called Polaris, fronted by Mark Mulcahy.

25:40 - It would have been Doug Sahm's 70th Birthday. It just so happens his son Shandon is currently destroying the skins as a member of the Meat Puppets. So the boys got Shandon out from behind the kit to  sing lead on Doug penned song called "She's About A Mover".  Shandon played Curt's guitar, Curt got behind the drums. Magically moment. Sound is awesome, video slightly grainy. Check it out:

Full review from that show courtesy of yours truly can be found up at Concert Confessions. Click here for the full scoop

20:07 - Meat Puppets at The Brooklyn Bowl in Williamsburg October 12th, come be my friend! Get tickets here.

28:06- Polaris doing Hey Sandy

31:00 - Check out the epic failure of iHeart Radio first reported at AntiQuiet.Com by clicking here. It's too perfect.  

35:05 -  Two years and 99 pounds ago, I was on WSIA 88.9 FM, the College of Staten Island's on campus radio station. That's also on YouTube. 

41:00 - I'm too lazy to enjoy the intricacies of vinyl records. I like to have them to hang on my wall, but I'm not one who thinks a needle scratching against a dead cow. I have a load of classic cassette tapes if Cassette Store Day ever is invented.

Thanks for putting up with my bullshit! Get those three W's going!

JayPorks@Gmail.Com if you'd like to get at me and have anything to do with this podcast

Monday, September 16, 2013

The Jay Porks Experience (Podcast Edition): Episode Two


 It's been years since I wanted to start my very own podcast. Luckily, my buddy Andy Derer envisioned a world where I'd be able to be hosting podcast of my own, airing every Monday here on the interwebs. I'll be discussing and digesting all things going on in the land of music (including my personal live experiences along with topical music news) and in land of Porks. That means I'm gonna use this to also vent about my life frustrations. Things like mass transit, the struggles of living in Staten Island surround by folks I refer to as The Walking Dead because of extend periods of Oxycontin and/or heroin use,  my dead end job and my annoying family are just the tip of the iceberg.

Weekly if needed, this is where we're gonna post the "show notes". Notes of things I may have worded not so clear, and links to the stuff I'm talking about. Even though  I have diarrhea of the mouth, I find that I tend to leave things out when under the gun of recording. Never claimed to be a grounded, stable person. So take a listen to the podcast, linked above, and view the little show notes below. Thanks for putting up with my nonsense for a little while, any suggestions please feel free to send them over.

2:30 - Have me read your LRC's if you got them, hit me up JayPorks@Gmail.Com
3:08 - I should have edited out that little pause myself. Will be better prepared in the future.
8:45 - The soliloquy about not being able to smoke cigarettes in the park, "Bloomy" is my nick name of  New York City Mayor Micheal Bloomberg. I'm not sure if everyone was able to get that.
13:35 - I say the Femmes played "Add It Up". I was there, so I am fully aware that the song is actually "Kiss Off" (because I have the first minute and a half on video). That's me misspeaking because my favorite part of "Kiss Off" involves a verse with counting. When I think number, I think "Add It Up" because of simple mathematics. So this isn't me being wrong, it's just me saying the wrong thing.
17:15 - The "Sucked" inserted there is in light of the situation at hand and not the performance of the band. Even though the weather was a train wreck, what took place on the stage while the band was on the stage was pretty surreal. Who knew this band would ever play again?
17:37 - When I say "Enjoy" it, that's not to say I do not enjoy shows from behind the lens. Actually usually I enjoy them more that way. I meant I didn't run to the pit and scream like a little school girl and jump up and down. I didn't live in the moment, I chose to capture it. And that's my main passion about hitting shows. Capturing the epicness.
18:37 - Mark Sanchez got a raw deal is the point I'm after there. We've got plenty of weeks for sports related podcasts

24:06 - Here's the awesome picture I was talking about. Click here for my full review over at Concert Confessions.
25:25 - If you can play 10-15 seconds of a nifty guitar riff or something for a theme song, hit me up at JayPorks@Gmail.Com
26:42 - These are the videos I referenced:

As we wrap up, Hank Moody is a fictional character in Showtime's series Californication played by David Duchovny. He is one of my heroes. 

Thanks for listening, we'll meet up again next week at TheAndyDererShow.Com where all the Jay Porks Experience Podcast Editions will be hosted. 

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Curt Kirkwood Interview w/ Larry Flick on Sirius

Recently, radio host Larry Flick got a chance to sit down with one of his favorite musicians: Curt Kirkwood of the Meat Puppets. The two discussed a number of topics, one in particular that struck my attention. Curt discussed how beer got spilled all over his peddle board at a show and he was completely miserable the entire night while everyone loved the set and he fake a good time not to be a bring down. I was at that show. It's John and Peter's in New Hope, PA.  Let me say this, that new hope show was completely nuts.

It was such a magically night, and now I feel guilty having enjoyed it. Check out the interview below on my new Soundclound account thingie.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The One Guy Who Will Say Out Loud That Atoms For Peace Sucks

I have a very clear understanding that my musical taste varies extremely of those of other folks, including many of the famous highly touted internet music blogs we all frequent every day to stay up on our rock music news. It is in the words of these people we trust to tell us what we should be listening to, what's new, what's happening. Usually, my personal distaste for some of the tunes most highly touted bloggers are into is merely due to the fact that I'm an extremely odd fellow. That's something I also have a clear understanding of.

I for one am of the belief that as of 2013 the band Radiohead has more bad albums than good, and they haven't made a song I liked since I was in middle school. That doesn't mean I don't like those old bitchin' Radiohead songs, it's just that I grew out of them. Same with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I used to love that band, now I just wonder how many times they can write the same song about Heroin causing 'the girl' to leave followed by the insertion of some random street corner located in California all to the sounds of that wicked Flea bass line. Don't get me confused here, I can stand the Red Hot Chili Peppers far more than I can stand Radiohead circa 2013-shit I'd go see RHCP if they came to town.

If every single music blog wants to worship Yorke and Radiohead I have no problem with that. It annoys me, but I can't fault anyone for holding on desperately to something that was once life changing(even if it's grown stale record by record by record). But I will however draw the line at Atoms For Peace.

 Seriously, did you listen to the above video? Can anyone help me out and explain to me what in the fuck that's suppose to be? Did Flea join Radiohead? When does the good part of this song start? I get told a lot that I'm an idiot, an imbecile, a talentless hack; which all may as well be true. But I have news for you, this Atoms For Peace is nothing but pretentious bullshit. It's just a bunch of random sounds. It's not groundbreaking, it's not innovative, it's freaking boring. It puts me to sleep, much like Thom Yorke's been doing to me for the last half of my life. If this is Rock & Roll, then I'm a fan of the wrong kind of music.

In closing I'd like to point out that if you are a fan of this non-sense. This sad excuse for music; then don't you dare ever try to slander a band like Foxy Shazam. On Twitter people like to dismiss my points of view because they don't get what Foxy Shazam is all about. Well, that's what you're all going to tell me about this Adam and Peace crap, or whatever the hell it's called. You'll say I don't “get it”. If this band is something I have to “get” in order to be let into your little elite music blogging world, then it's not something I want to be a part of.