Monday, December 30, 2013

List 'Em Irresponsibly: It's The End Of The Year As We Know It

I'm aware that the year end wrap up podcast has already concluded, but that doesn't mean that I'm done with my views and opinions. Truthfully, we'll never be done hearing my thoughts, opinions and overall complaints about things. It's the reason I host a weekly podcast.

Anyway, all I've done is complain about year end lists. With every website taking a list of 103 records that came out this year and making their own top 100 lists, differing with maybe one or two albums slotting in different spots on each of their pretentious employers list. We get it. You all dig the same music. I've got two lists of my own to get into, because I'm a way better follower than I am a leader. A lot of the second list will most likely be touched on in the first podcast of 2014, which you'll be able to find at TheAndyDererShow.Com , The Andy Derer YouTube Channel, and available to listen FREE on iTunes using the Podcasts App. It's odd, it's off, it's different.. It's The Jay Porks Experience.

Top Five Albums of 2013 I'd Like to Never Hear Sounds From Ever Again:

1. Kanye West - Yeezus
How long is this dude going to keep making a fool out of himself before we stop enabling him to. When I was a kid and I did something bad I didn't get attention for it because then I'd continue to do it because I was an attention seeking asshole. I was also 4 years old. Dude had one decent record in 2004. I'm not beat maker, so whatever records he's produced that I'm unaware of, don't waste your time. This isn't a list of producers. This type of stuff mattering is everything wrong with Hip Hop. Too many preppy suburban white kids are in on the discussions these days to make it valid.

2. Pearl Jam - Lightning Bolt
Nothing I say in this little blurb will make you change your mind, but I'd be a hypocrite not to put it on my worst list after hating it so much publicly.

3. Haim - Days Are Gone
Look at me. I got all adventurous and tried to listen to some music by a fairly new artist who was the buzz of the interwebs for a few weeks. Boy am I sorry I checked these chicks out. And here I was hoping for some sort of Babes in Toyland sounding stuff. And it never helps to pronounce your name in a ridiculous way, opting to pronounce it Haim like rhymes with Time instead of how everyone reads and hears it, and that's Haim in which sounds like Lame.

4. Daft Punk - Random Access Memories 
Just because you've created a record that has one catchy song that everyone seems to hum after they hear it drunk at a party does not mean you and your stupid wanna be Tron helmets have any right to be THIS successful. That electro-crap has no place in life outside 20 feet away from someone doing designer rave drugs in a dark basement.

5. Atoms For Peace - Amok
I don't even know what these sounds are trying to be. In all seriousness, there's no breakdown. I got nothing since there is nothing this music gives me.

 Top Five Things Bands Shouldn't Do in 2014:

1. Stop telling fans to not take your picture. Stop trying to make the future not happen. You really feel that bad that someone is taking your picture instead of FULLY ENGULFING themselves in the songs that you slaved for years writing? You're a fucking musician, you signed up to be famous. You also charged me more than zero for this ticket to see you. Would you rather people follow you home? If a person choosing to try and capture a moment from a concert and relive that moment forever, wouldn't you consider them full engulfed in these proceedings? People are allowed to keep memories forever now. People also pay $60+ for tickets to concerts to see their favorite bands and then their favorite bands turn out to be complete pieces of shit. It's a Rock & Roll concert, if you're camera is really in the way of someone to the point where their show experience is being disrupted-they're going to punch you. People like me work hard to find ways to not annoy people, now I wish my favorite bands would stop annoying me.

2. Stop releasing box sets when you are still alive. Box sets and deluxe editions are for bands of past not bands of present. They could only be bands of present if they've been around a while. As it pains this guy to say, a band like Pearl Jam is allowed a box set if they want to while a band like Daft Punk can't release a deluxe edition of their record a month after it comes out. I don't think enough people care about the original to care about the remaster besides a handful of snobby writers with jobs at high trafficking music websites that seem to control the universe.

3. We don't need 17 "90s" themed concert tours. We really don't. If a band like Everclear wanted to tour I'd go see them in a club in the city. I don't need them on a bill with Fastball and Vertical Horizon to make me see them. I'm sure Sugar Ray fans feel the same way, they'd go see McGrath and Co. if they toured. And the guy typing this LOVES everything about the 90s. Summerland is 2012 was cool.  The world doesn't need all those bands starting their own 90s revival tours. You're never going to have a bill where every fan is happy anyway, just do the tour alone. Small places that sell out. Seems like a more financially feasible plan than underselling a bunch of larger venues.

4. Stop Touring playing albums. I think we've all had enough of the predicable set lists already. Shows are about spontaneity and fun, not rules and regulations. Even if you wanna play an entire album that badly, you don't have to tell us about it. Keep a secret  til showtime if you want. Play it out of order or something and throw us off. Don't tell us what to expect at the show when we buy our tickets 4 months in advance, that ruins the excitement for people like me.

5. Stop Crying about Spotify and Pandora. Hire some lawyers, tell them to stop playing your music. Don't cry to me about it, it's not going to keep me from adding your songs to my Spotify playlist. I don't feel bad for millionaires, but that's just how a dude with no money feels. If you want to make some extra cash, grab a guitar and go play some live shows. Then stand at the merch table after the show and have fans buy stuff because they don't want to look like dicks when they ask to take a selfie with you. Make your website easier to access or something. If websites are going to let people listen to music for free, why would they not do that? That's like if the needle truck in the Bronx was handing out free Heroin to junkies, would you expect the junkies to say "Nah that's alright, I'm gonna support my local dealer directly. Thanks though". Doubtful.

Every Monday, TheAndyDererShow.Com for The Jay Porks Experience.

Happy New Year. Don't make resolutions.. make Revolutions.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Show Notes: The Jay Porks Experience Podcast Year End Wrap Up


Well folks, the world has successfully spun around on its axis for another year. I myself spent the last three months of 2013 host this podcast: The Jay Porks Experience, featured on the Derer Network of Podcasts. To say it's been awesome to vent to all of you would be an understatement, and I can't til the two week holiday break ends to bring you more awesome rants, raves and terrible jokes. In the meantime, above is a link to this weeks podcast. In which we break down all the concerts attended by this guy in 2013. It's a short list, a list that needs to get longer in the next twelve months. Below, you can find links to all the Jay Porks Concert Experiences mentioned in this weeks 'cast. Happy New Year. 

But first, as we do every week. Let's go over the list of websites you need to visit, to help keep me in business. 

ConcertConfessions.Com : Your Source For Live Music News And Reviews, For Fans By Fans

Antiquiet.Com : That's Your Source For QUALITY. Where the bullshit is always cut. Check out the staff picks for the Albums Of The Year by clicking here

CristinaRocks.Com ...hang the dj. Cristina hosts the Time Warp on 89X, playing throwback alternative hits every Sunday morning. Head to her site for daily music news, and links to the playlists and where you can stream her show live every Sunday on the interwebs.

TheAndyDererShow.Com For the aforementioned awesome podcast world takeover. Check out Andy Derer, Tyler Kahl and yours truly over there going strong in 2014.

Listen to me FREE on iTunes by simply using the Podcasts App. It's so easy even I can do it!

(dean ween sitting in the doorway to the left)

Hit me up on Twitter @JayPorks and be my friend! Let's go to shows and do some podcast stuff!

Check ya'll in two weeks! Late.